Things Move in my Closet

     I think the part I hate about reviewing bands the most is needing to write seriously negative reviews. Sitting at my computer for four hours for a single review because I can't tell whether I like what I'm hearing or not is second, but this review is dealing entirely with the former. Rather than drawing the agony out over five or six big paragraphs, I'm going to keep this short.

     There are two songs up on TMIMC's site. Nicotine, and Wages of Sin. To be blunt, Nicotine is painful to listen to in a similar way that dragging your nails across a chalkboard might be painful. The lead singer is off key and nasally. The guitar work is your generic green-day pop punk crap. The drums aren't much better, especially bad is the part when the drummer beats on his cymbals repeatedly for a hard rock character, which works fine--if you know what your doing--but Things Move in my Closet doesn't. The sound is cliche, stagnant, and a touch cheesy and achieves none of what the band was going for with it. The "bassline" is composed of three repeated notes, this gets old fast. Wages of Sin isn't much better, fortunately, this is a metalcore song, so its difficult to go off key on the heavy vocals; they're just some of the least refined sounding high pitched screams I've ever heard, thats not a good thing. The only reprieve from the abysmal vocals comes during the choruses where they manage to get a strong, gritty sound in the clean vocals, but the way they're applied squanders the opportunity. In no way whatsoever do the choruses line up with the rest of the song. The song goes from half baked, banal metalcore to irritating, out-of-place snippets that sound like they were taken from a mediocre nickelback tribute band. The only redeeming point between the two songs is that the guitar solos seem to step up from a figurative 3/10 on the rest of the song, to a solid 8/10. The problem is, the solos come too late, and they just aren't worth grinding your teeth through the rest of the song.

     All of this, on top of poor production standards, leave the listener with one logical choice, that is, to close the tab, and move on to other, more creative, skillful bands that are actually fun to listen to. The band, on their site, stated that they formed in May and began quickly writing songs, and I would suggest that this is their problem, and would highly encourage the band members to go back and spend some more time carefully planning and writing their songs, because what they've posted to reverbnation sounds as hastily put together as the band indicated that they are.

3/10

http://www.reverbnation.com/thingsmoveinmycloset